I have been out of the loop pretty much perched on my rock or hanging in my It 's something that I have made for mine so comfortable that I have made a problem for myself because I do not ever want to leave it. It & # 39; s sort of my shedding skin time so I 'm keeping a low profile with an intuitive attitude and a little drama mixed in just to make sure I keep a pulse!
I was shocked at what I did not know was happening in my own backyard and I felt like Scooby Do not say "What Row?" Commented to her that she was lucky to live on the outskirts of town because the community politics did not seem to stretch as far out to her neck of the woods. After my husband says, in life we all have to learn to play nice so we can at least get along in the moments when it counts. After I hung up the phone I surprised what It looked like I took a wrong turn with a road block ahead of me that said detour. I never seemed to get back on track with my community and the invitations started to dwi ndle along with the familiar faces.
It's a million reasons why we are either popular in our communities or left alone. It 's almost like a high school feeling so maybe there is excess baggage I am carrying But there is always seems to be the gals who fit in, no problem and those like myself who march to their own tune. But I & # 39; m getting away from myself here and from the answer to my original question.
It appeared to be a major mile stone for the both of us and yet we were left by by that particular. show with what felt like PTSD. It took a lot of to recuperate and to ease out getting over the emotional anxiety from the show. That show changed so many things in my dance career that I do not really know where to begin but most noticeably it The reaction was weird I thought that we had raised money for a children & # 39; s hospital and the very kids we raised money for were able to come to the show. The community 's reaction was a cold shoulder and most notably a large amount This was unfortunate because we broke ground at this particular theater and I was hiring more dancers would pick up where we left off.
Maybe there ___ ___ ___ __ 2 ___ ___ __ 2 ___ __ 2 ___ __ 2 ___ ___ 0 See the vision even in chaos or drama. It 's like having the perseverance of a looking glass and peering into the future knowing it will all work out. My uncle has been in the movie business for years and I always expected the So we do the same thing as dancers only. We have not have this happy and happiness in the theaters. But the back kind of energy. But the back lash is more immediate in our business and it can come from people who have never produced a show in their life. You know, they are like the movie critics who have never written a script, acted or produced anything i n their lives. Their voices are based on an experience void perspective.
I was somehow being punished for a creative idea that actually worked and was successful. So I kept myself busy months after the show but found that some of my friends who used to call me stopped alike. The audiences appause ___ ___ ___ 0 ___ ___ ___ 0 ___ ___ ___ 0 could not help themselves so it seemed they turned their backs on the accomplishment of a show maybe because it was not theirs. So I ask all of you, what price do we pay for success?
How do you feel all feeling about your accomplishments and your successes? Are we all happy for each other or is there a realistic back lash from a certain few who do not want to see success happen for anyone else but themselves? What do you feel or do you feel like me or am I on an even more isolated path because of my choices? Do I play nice ......... I thought I was not. I am not there. I do not have. Sometimes I have to take a stand on issues and topics which you all read about in my blog. am turning a cold shoulder to issues, agendas and problems that affect us all which would make me no different than my former community.
Choices and decisions taken lightly at the time we make them all substantial changes in our lives down the line. If we knew the results ahead of time would any other us make make the same choices?
When I'm afraid of a positive outcome. If we worry about how people will respond to us down the line than our unadulterated choices would be tainted with their views. When it & # 39 I am the end of my choices and that means that sometimes the company I keep is my own if only for a little while.
But I realized something as I was writing this that I am apart of a community now. Maybe the detour I took was meant to be so I could head towards your direction and the reason why I did not turn back was because I was going in the right direction.
In the end I realized I am blessed to have you as friends, fellow belly dance aficionados and women of substance. I could not ask for a better community so I think I have answered my own question.
I decided to write about it. I decided to write and it is why I posted this blog it has become clear that I am not alone in the alienation problem and that many women are dealing with this very painful emotion.
It is a shocking episode where it showed the wives at a dinner party. As the party moved to the dining room the drama escalated The negativity was spewing out of their mouths like volcanic eruptions and not any of them them It was a psychic who helped instigated the argument along with the hostess. It was a situation that could have been avoided by simply not buying into the verbal jabs. But that is not the American woman way or is it What?
The animosity was way beyond human it is really almost animalistic. How lucky we are, how we react and relate to each other. No wonder our gender can not get a grip for we are constantly being demonstrated at It seems the same words are spoken and directed as insults without any consideration which are jealousy, insecurity, bitchiness, trash, gossip, whore etc. Not much changes when women go at each Since we use 5xs more words than in Shakespearian time, you would think our vocabulary would have a broader range of words just for arguments sake but obviously this is not the case .
I call what I saw the other night, the woman debilitating problem or or I watched that particular episode it made me a lot of women. As mothers what worse role model can we daughters follow a weak insecure woman? Let 's get real, maybe down and dirty , we all have baggage and we all for a while to carry but we do it any any out out of habitual, encumbering, self sacrificing reasons that do not amount to a hill of beans. insecurities that do not serve us but exploit our very fears?
Do it really care? I can tell you all for a fact my community does not care because they are heartless women but because There are a lot of women in my home town who are leaders so one less leader to contend with is I & # 0 # I am only one woman and I have to decide. It may seem strange that. They are followers are. Women want authority and prestige just like any one else but within a single gender based community the rules change a bit.
Everything is on this measuring scale; beauty, curves, flawless skin, thick hair, correct weight, height, breasts etc. How a woman looks to us and dances measures about the same on a subconscious level where our insecurities are waiting to go down the list of what we do not have compared to what "she" does have. we can really just call this measuring scale another cup of "insecurity."
Our gender & # 39; s WDP will normally start to feel uncomfortable with the fact that another dancer might be successful, spiraling her lacking condition downwards to a bottomless pit. when they put it a show my there is a few dancers in my community that I do not like because of their conduct. How do I act professionally when my "real" feelings give me away Welcome to my best problem. Maybe its principals and values here. How do I look in the mirror and say one thing to myself and say another publicly? Is this where the saying came from, "Saving face?"
You would think that you do not believe as women we ever had normal. Religion, cultures, wars have dictated what we are, who we could become and where we could go. But maybe equality is another bugger here because this means so many different things to so many different people.
I was in Luzern, Switzerland years ago and went to a lake where the girl would take those tops off while they were tanning. It felt invigorating to have a choice to go partially nude or not but my boyfriend at the time He enjoyed the boobies everywhere but he did not want mine enjoyed by everyone else. What I am saying is that relationships do play a major role in our decisions but I wonder how much they play havoc on So my irritation was targeted towards the women who I was afraid I was not irritated by my boyfriend was enjoying all the boobies around him to the point I was being ignored. I learned from a choice that I allowed to be taken away from me. I learned from that experience that what I allowed to happen to me affected my opinion toward my own gender. It is remember that I can someone else influence me to the point that my disgruntled disposition affected my opinion towards the very women who I probably have enjoyed. How many times within a day or week do we allow a decision to be located upon us that is not ours to carry?
I realized that my attitude towards my attitude towards myself. I am totally a reflection of my attitude towards myself. They really are .......... creative women doing what they love to do. I can see them without WDP than I think for the first time I will be able to enjoy the view just like being in the audience I can enjoy watching the movie. I can enjoy watching the story, journey, drama or play unfold without me knowing how it will end but how do you know it will end the way it needs it. What I am saying is "To live and let live."
